Wednesday, June 8, 2016

My god, her radiance!

As Satyen Raja says, "Masculine energy is defined as "presence" and feminine as "radiance,"  the stronger connection to higher self the more you will be "feel" these people."

She's simply amazing.  Far wiser, a much older soul than mine.  I've never felt anyone the way I feel her.  These are all reasons why I'm so attracted to her...everything.  She's positively radiant. She always has been, and while I've always been pulled to her, I never saw it until after my fall in the Winter of 2015.  

Then I became aware of it, she's here to help me.  I knew this but couldn't put it into words. Thanks Tolle, for doing if for me: "but if you are fortunate enough to find someone who is intensely conscious, if you can be with them and join them in the state of presence, that can be helpful and will accelerate things."

You have the ability to make me a better person, and it's really hard for me to say this...someone who has done everything on his own his entire life, someone who has never counted on anyone for anything...someone who feels like the most selfish prick in the world for saying what I'm about to say...  And while you've already heard me say all this, I'm saying it again. Please help me...

Help me to love by loving me
Help me to care by caring for me
Help me to give by giving to me
Help me to laugh by laughing with me
Help me to cry by crying with me
Help me to be, by being there for me

I've always believed in love, although I haven't experienced it.  I've always believed there are plenty of people we can fall in love with, but I never believed in the idea of soulmates until now. Another soul that we are so intimately words can explain this.  I do suspect that soulmates have spent multiple lives together, which is why they know each other so well.

Are we? My heart says it's so but my ego is screaming "no, that's ridiculous, you're going to get really hurt with silly ideas like that."  I know her's is saying the same thing...

Yet even though she's familiar in so many ways, there are so many things I feel like I'm fucking up on a daily basis because I simply don't get her. This is when the ego says, "See, I told you so." And this is when I need you help more than ever.

Yes, she's here to help me, and I have no fucking clue how to go about doing it, but I'm here to help her.

Practicing Consciousness

"Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet.  It is the body's reaction to your mind." Eckhart Tolle

Same with CBT, thoughts beget emotions.

I woke up depressed...out of it... I don't know... just really off.  This is rare for me as a morning person.  WTF is going on.

I'm attempting to remain conscious of my feelings...becoming "the observer" of my feelings.

When I'm upset I go inward and pull back from everyone.  This is most likely the exact opposite of what I need.

For it is the ego who is upset, not me.  But what triggered these depressive feelings?  Food, lack of sleep, drugs?  I know when I lay next to her I constantly worry about waking her so I lay there all night, trying no to disturb her.

I'm not 100% on this, but the last thing you should have done this morning is let me walk out that door.

We're very different in a lot of ways and still learning each other.  You treat me how you want to be treated and I treat you how I want to be treated.  But I recognized this several weeks ago and I'm trying to keep that in mind. "You just have to let me come to you." So I didn't touch you this morning, even though I wanted to.  This upset me even more.

I think I need to be reached out to because I don't bounce back after 5 minutes like you.  I need to be told it's ok to be weak and that I'm still appreciated even though I'm not actively doing anything for you.

Then again I need to stand on my own 2 feet and do this shit without you....

I'm aware of my feelings, below if from Tolle, just need to put it into action.

"Accept then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as though you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it...

Let me summarize the process.  Focus attention on the feeling inside you.  Know that it is the pain-body.  Accept that it is there.  Don't think about it --don't let the feeling turn into thinking.  Don't judge or analyze.  Don't make an identity for yourself out of it.  Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.  Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of "the one who observes," the silent watcher...

The best indicator of your level of consciousness is how you deal with life's challenges when they come.. Through those challenges, an already unconscious person tends to become more deeply unconscious and a conscious person more intensely conscious  You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into even deeper sleep."

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Leaders, servers, question askers, it's all the same

While to me it makes total sense to put everything you write in one place, Google, and marketing in general dictate otherwise.  This is a problem I'd love to work on...

That being said I published a new article on Linked In Pulse.  You can find it here.

Sunday, April 12, 2015


One of the toughest things for most people to "get" is something you hear a lot in TOOLS.  What does it really mean to take responsibility for you?

In the past 60 years we are only now uncovering how our brains truly work.  Dr Richard Carlson wrote a book called, You Can Be Happy No Matter What.  It's like the laymen s version of the work performed by Dr. Aaron Beck and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  

The premise is simple: every thought you have is chosen by you.  Thoughts, beget emotions...literally.  On a scientific level neurons are firing that are your thoughts, these trigger the release of certain chemicals in the brain known as hormones or neurotransmitters.  We experience these things as emotions.  Emotions drive our behavior.  Our thoughts ultimately control our behavior.

A quick story.  I have 2 friends who are girls and they, um, girl fight?  Ya know, they are always talking crap about the other behind their backs but they are the best of friends really.  Both of them come to me to complain about the other.  One day one said, "She just makes me so angry when she does this." Understanding Dr Beck and Dr. Carlson what she really meant was "I choose to be angry because I don't like her actions." Emphasize that "I" when you read it...doesn't it sound selfish?  It is. (FYI, you shed that ego, there is no more "I")

So I said to her, "Don't give her that power over you."  You have the choice to not react to what she is doing.  By reacting to her in that way you are doing what she wants and she's gaining power over you."  My friend looked at me, then stared off into the distance like she was thinking. Then kind of changed the subject and I didn't think twice about it.
Months later my same friend said, "You are so right, I can't give her that power and it's been so liberating ever since you told me that. I do have the choice to not be affected by her. Thank you."  I said, "No problem," and that was it.

When people understand they have a choice in their reactions, what they think and how they feel, it can be extremely empowering and liberating.  A lot of people rebuke this entire idea and say, "NO NO NO, I didn't want this." And put their fingers in their ears and stomp their feet like a child...well that is their choice as well.

I got an F my junior year in high school.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Here is another quick story on how this can be so liberating.  I went to a retreat a few years back and the leaders cursed like sailors constantly.  I thought it a bit odd but I curse a lot so I didn't really care.  The 2nd day there was a lecture and he brought it up. "You may have noticed I curse a lot and I don't give a fuck what you think. Why? If you are the type of person that gets offended by what someone else says you probably get offended all day everyday. Think about it, the only person in all the different scenarios who is suffering, is you! So I curse for a reason, to teach you something about yourself. You are letting others control how you feel and until you accept that as your problem and not theirs, you will suffer."  From that day on in the retreat people cursed constantly, it was hilarious to me.
Take responsibility to everything in your life.  

Every thought and feeling you have is generated by you.  Maybe not consciously, but that is why you are here, to consciously change your unconscious ideals.

Now, do I condone bigotry and hatred. Absolutely not, those only hurt everyone.  For example, the laws Indiana and several other states have passed recently are terrible and they are stripping people of freedoms they deserve.  This isn't about how one feels anymore, this is physically forcing a change on someone and I think it's terrible. Moreover, if people who condone and endorsed these laws lived by the principal that NO ONE can affect them, they would have never needed these laws.  It's a pure sign they aren't taking responsibility for their own actions.   

Saturday, April 11, 2015

The Inner Voice Part 1

I'm a lot more spiritual now then I was when I did this program the first time.  Thinking back I really didn't pay too much credence to the "Inner Voice" thing. The funniest part about what follows is Devlyn calls me the "rational and scientific" to his "go from the gut" feelings.  Which is true, I tend to be the one to provide why and what is happening on a physiological and neurological level when he just "goes from the gut."  That being said, what I'm about to say should give some more weight to what many la-la new age thinkers preach.  

Inner voice:, it's one of my most important parts of my life.  As I said, I'm fairly spiritual now, you can call me crazy or stupid, etc etc, I don't care, but here is what I now know: What Devlyn calls your "inner voice" has many names throughout history in many different religions.  Some call it God, your guardian angel, your intuition, etc.  

In the New Age circle, the simplest definition is what is called your "Higher Self"  this is the part of you that is connected to the universe and everything around you, it's what is connected to God because it is a part of God, it is a part of everything.

Because...everything is connected to everything.  I am connected to you, to the Earth, to every single speck of matter and energy because that is what we are, in the end we are all made of the same stuff, energy, and is all connected in the quantum soup of the universe.  
Christianity has a concept that we are "Made in the image of God."  I, and many others have taken this further and to me it's much more powerful. We aren't just made "in the image" of God, we ARE the same thing.  Our inner self, our higher self, is connected to God because it's part of God, because it's all the same thing.

Words do not do this justice.

When I am most connected to my higher self, I am the most at peace, the most comfortable, the relaxed and the most un-phased by everything terrible that happens everyday.  When I am the most distressed, I can feel I don't have that same connection.
You may be asking, "well what is the difference between you and your higher self, by admitting you are you, you admit you are something different."  Yes, I agree and no I don't. 


The larger your ego is, the more you identify yourself as a separate thing with importance, the more you suffer.  The less connected you are to that inner voice and chances are you are less happy.

I know what I'm about to say next makes me sound even crazier to most but when I'm most connected to my higher self I am clairvoyant.  Yes, I'm talking 6th sense.  That being said I don't think I'm special. I think everyone has this skill just like everyone has the other 5 sense, but it's something that must be worked at and practiced.

It's quite simple really.  I tend to pick up what other people are putting down, regardless of words or if I can even see them.  It's closer to a type of empathy where you just understand what they are feeling.  My close friends all know this as truth.  I'm often able to discern their moods and demeanor without even speaking to them, in fact I email them out of the blue asking how they are doing and they don't even question it anymore with "How did you know I was feeling this way?" They just respond.

Interestingly as well, the stronger someone else is connected to his/her higher self or if he/she is very separated from his/her higher self, it's much easier to pick up on these people.  Meaning people who are super happy or people who are super depressed are much easier to read.  Now think about that. Regardless of  if you believe me about a 6th sense you have all been able to tell is someone is livid pissed or depressed and if someone is beaming with happiness and it's not just seeing their faces, you can feel it, you can identify with it.  

I ponder this effect on my close friends as well.  When I got super depressed last week, I started getting random texts out of the blue from all my friends, "Are you OK?" "What's going on."  They knew! They could feel something was wrong with me.  They didn't know what, only that something felt different.

Masculine energy is defined as "presence" and feminine as "radiance,"  the stronger connection to higher self the more you will be "feel" these people.  Devlyn Steele has one of the strongest "presences" I have ever met, he's in the top 3, go figure.  He's the type of guy who can walk into a room and heads turn, I saw this happen first hand.  Think about that! We have all heard or seen people that have such powerful energy around them that simply by entering into a room, people who can not seem them, AT ALL, stop, turn around to see what is there. The people turning may not even know why they turned, something just kind of told them to check it out.  You may have even been one of these people, I know I have.

I have a ton more to say on the "inner voice" but I'm going to break it into another post.  This is what my brain does, it gets massive swarms of information coming through onto my radar at the same time, then I have to make sense of it all and turn it into something beautiful. I am the Creator.

For now I will say this: 6th Chakra activation, Indigo children, leads to 7th Chakra, aka higher self, receiving information, clam in the storm, acceptance, trust yourself, connection, thoughts are creative forces, release, power, energy, presence and radiance, pleasing

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Being Ashamed

Day 3 in Tools To Life: in the exercises section we were asked to change problems into opportunities.  Working with Devlyn the past several years I often started conversations with, "Devlyn, we have a lot of opportunities ahead of us," and he would laugh. Makes me smile thinking about it.

I put that one of my problems is that I'm too effing smart.  Meaning I know how this program works, and what each step is doing and why it's doing it.  Therefore I have the ability to subconsciously sabotage the work.

When I want to be negative, I can literally always find a reason despite what ANYONE tells me, including Devlyn.

It's not that I want to be negative, it's just so easy.  Just like Devlyn says, 82% of our brains have been wired for negativity.  

I've already talked about he difference between rationally understanding and feeling a certain way about something.  It happens on multiple levels.  Last week, when shit hit the fan, Devlyn said, "Domenic, this is the time when you have to put the pedal to the metal, this is when you push through so that everything you talk and believe aren't just lip service.  Now is when you practice what you preach."  All I could think of at the time was, "I just don't give a fuck anymore."  I knew it was a mood and it would pass but that was at that time.'

Today, writing out my "opportunity" to knowing what lies ahead an answer just came to me.  What follows may sound cocky, but it's written for me to read so I'm not aiming for modesty:
Being too's the ultimate challenge, a higher level of knowledge, a higher vibration.  I've been given the opportunity to transcend my current level and push forward.  Knowing what I know, being who I am, I have the potential for greatness.

Something is trying to hold me back...what is it? I am ashamed of my failure, but it's only me who is ashamed, no one else.  In fact, as my wife and Devlyn say, I'm the only one who even thinks I've failed. What part of me is ashamed and why? Judgement.  I judged others and said they were worthless when they were at this point and now here I am. My shame is the result of my own judgement and no one else's. I shed my ego, I release the judgement. 

I have to forgive myself and release the judgement of myself.  This doesn't give me a ticket to say "Fuck it," in fact it's the opposite, "It gives me the chance to prove I was wrong before." This gets me motivated.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

It's happening again

Jack Canfield, The Success Principals
Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap
The Plateau effect,
Core Values,
shed the ego,

All the pieces are out there, I don't know how or why but they will manifest together into something great.