Wednesday, June 8, 2016

My god, her radiance!

As Satyen Raja says, "Masculine energy is defined as "presence" and feminine as "radiance,"  the stronger connection to higher self the more you will be "feel" these people."

She's simply amazing.  Far wiser, a much older soul than mine.  I've never felt anyone the way I feel her.  These are all reasons why I'm so attracted to her...everything.  She's positively radiant. She always has been, and while I've always been pulled to her, I never saw it until after my fall in the Winter of 2015.  

Then I became aware of it, she's here to help me.  I knew this but couldn't put it into words. Thanks Tolle, for doing if for me: "but if you are fortunate enough to find someone who is intensely conscious, if you can be with them and join them in the state of presence, that can be helpful and will accelerate things."

You have the ability to make me a better person, and it's really hard for me to say this...someone who has done everything on his own his entire life, someone who has never counted on anyone for anything...someone who feels like the most selfish prick in the world for saying what I'm about to say...  And while you've already heard me say all this, I'm saying it again. Please help me...

Help me to love by loving me
Help me to care by caring for me
Help me to give by giving to me
Help me to laugh by laughing with me
Help me to cry by crying with me
Help me to be, by being there for me

I've always believed in love, although I haven't experienced it.  I've always believed there are plenty of people we can fall in love with, but I never believed in the idea of soulmates until now. Another soul that we are so intimately words can explain this.  I do suspect that soulmates have spent multiple lives together, which is why they know each other so well.

Are we? My heart says it's so but my ego is screaming "no, that's ridiculous, you're going to get really hurt with silly ideas like that."  I know her's is saying the same thing...

Yet even though she's familiar in so many ways, there are so many things I feel like I'm fucking up on a daily basis because I simply don't get her. This is when the ego says, "See, I told you so." And this is when I need you help more than ever.

Yes, she's here to help me, and I have no fucking clue how to go about doing it, but I'm here to help her.

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